Why Alcohol And Low Sex Drive Are Common Bed Fellows

Aug 28, 2023
 

Alcohol And Low Sex Drive

Intimacy with another human being can be an incredibly sensitive and powerful encounter. For individuals who struggle with alcohol addiction, the desire to dull some unpleasant feelings associated with sex, such as performance anxiety, worry, and self-doubt can be even higher.

When you quit drinking and stop using alcohol as a crutch, you're compelled to experience sex a bit more deeply and precisely. Including the amazing sensations and the negative side of lovemaking too.

" Sex has become a far more conscious process. Before, I would consume alcohol to develop the self-esteem to flirt with women, and then drink to make it through having sex.

Besides my one major relationship, I would typically only make love when I was drunk. So I wasn't really conscious of what I really enjoyed sexually, and frequently sex wasn't even an especially pleasurable encounter.", Seamus

Alcohol Lowers Self Confidence

From a clinical point of view, Professor Ray, an LA university professor whose area of study concentrates on the triggers and treatment of substance use problems, stated alcohol lowers self-consciousness. This may make individuals more likely to engage in unplanned sexual activity. However, the effect that liquor has on emotions of sexual stimulation has not been well-established.

" Her work on alcohol expectations indicates that men and women frequently expect booze to improve sexual encounters," she added. "The degree to which liquor really does so is not entirely clear."

We talked to abstinent males and females to discover how sex transformed for them after they quit drinking. Be that physically, on an emotional level or spiritually:

You feel more empowered to seek what you desire sexually. Plus you become more comfortable saying what you do not really want to do in the bedroom.

Sexual Empowerment

"Before sobriety, the only way I would ever risk making myself so vulnerable about lovemaking was if I was wasted. It was hard for me to feel comfortable in my own skin, especially my nude body. I had to be drunk with the phony self-confidence that comes with that.

It was hard for me to enjoy any form of sexual gratification without feeling ashamed except if I was intoxicated and near unconscious. It was difficult for me to say a real 'yes' or 'no' because I was intoxicated and everything was fuzzy and unclear. Because I was using alcohol, for this reason, I often said 'yes' when I meant 'no,' or 'no' when I really wished to say 'yes.'.

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Now, whatever I do is deliberate. I may regret saying 'yes' or 'no' to a partner but never ashamed because I made a conscious, clear-eyed choice. And rather than feeling numbed or getting false bravery, I experience all the aspects of sex: the good and the bad, the pleasant and the unpleasant.

These days my confidence emerges from inside me. Certainly not from a wine bottle.

To inform a sexual partner what I want in the bedroom? What I really desire?

The true courage that regularly enables me to own my desires and my feelings and my body." Kerry

The Beauty Of Sober Sex

"I'm still dealing with linking myself to lovemaking's bodily and emotional elements. Intimacy is difficult for me due to the fact that I frequently hid behind the veil of booze in previous relationships and even hookups. Now that booze is totally out of my life. I'm dealing with the fact that I find it terrifying to be psychologically intimate with a man.

Eye contact, pillow talk, even gentle teasing & flirting are more of a challenge than the physical act of lovemaking.", Tawny

You're much more in touch with your own body and enjoyment of sex.

"Sexual activity is a more metaphysical encounter. In the sense that I feel attached to it and understand what I desire in bed.

I used to have an issue with delayed ejaculation, which was triggered by being extremely nervous about intimacy. I started working through this towards the end of my alcoholism but completely got over it when I quit drinking entirely.

Learning how to quit drinking has made me realize all of the means I used to beat myself up in the past. Almost constant alcohol consumption, excessive training, conditional and dangerous dieting, purging meals, not being able to relax, etc. I am a lot more in touch with myself across all areas of my life.

Feel Great About Myself

I do pilates for physical exercise, and I try to eat food items that are genuinely good for me and make me feel great about myself.

That lifestyle change translates into my sexual activity too. I am much more in touch with what I want out of sex and don't just do what the other person likes me to do. For instance, I have not had penetrative intercourse for nearly five years, because I just haven't wanted to.

When I want to, I will, wherein the old days, I would have just done this because I would have felt like I had to.", Kirst

When you quit drinking, you stop comparing and linking sex with your self-respect.

"Ever since getting sober and then working on strengthening my sense of self and being happy with who I am. Sex is not so directly aligned with my self-confidence. Just as I can take or leave booze, I take sex as it comes too.

I used to fret if it had not developed in a relationship for some time, but now I value it more. And being sober, I'm more connected in every little thing I do sexually", Matt.

You have fewer heartaches the morning after

" I do not lament my sexual activity as much, because now I think before doing it. When I used to drink, I would have intimate encounters with people that I did not intend to, or in ways that I did not intend to. Then I would experience a profound sense of shame later, normally the following day.

Now, I actually take the time to think about it before having an intimate encounter, and because of that thought process, I usually don't have the same moment the next day of, 'what just happened?'

There are a lot of times now where I don't make love with someone, and I recognize that if I 'd been drunk, I most definitely would have, and would have felt lousy about it later.", Kirst.

When you quit drinking the sensations of sober sex can be intense, particularly in the beginning.

"Sex transformed for me in many ways when I got clean. For one, it transformed into a more powerful experience.

I am in a far better place with myself, and my physical body and feelings are enhanced. This enables me to feel things in a more powerful way, emotionally, bodily, spiritually and this includes sexual activity.", Kelly

You begin to address sexual relationships like an adult.

" I'm at last a grown female having grown-up intimacy. That is, I can now allow myself to have various sexual cravings.

I am free to express these desires, to enjoy, to be serious, to be disappointed, to be thrilled. All of it without having to believe that I'm 18 and have to down a six-pack of beer. Or middle-aged and gulp a bottle of plonk to have sex.

All that alcohol consumption was a cover for fear of allowing myself to feel my own feelings.

Sober, I know I can make it through being rejected by women and make the first move!", Neville.

You regain some of the self-esteem you may believe that you lost in your drinking times.

"My sex life significantly changed when I got sober. As a binge user of alcohol, I frequently made love with guys who didn't respect me. I frequently slept with my male pals, aka drinking pals. Always persuaded myself that those 1 AM messages were a prelude to real romance and love. I seldom had sex sober, even when in a romantic relationship.

Now that I'm booze-free, I've gained some much-needed self-esteem and no longer engage in those practices.", Lara.

When you quit drinking a lot of things in your life get better. Sex is just the tip of the iceberg.

About Us

Welcome to Stop Drinking Expert, a sanctuary for those seeking a way out of the seemingly never-ending cycle of alcohol addiction. Our mission is to guide you on the path to a healthier, happier, and alcohol-free life. We understand that every individual’s journey is unique, which is why we offer a comprehensive range of resources, including a daily free quit drinking webinar, expert advice, and a supportive community.

Our founder, Craig Beck, is a renowned expert in the field of alcohol addiction. Author of the bestselling book "Alcohol Lied To Me," Craig has helped over 250,000 people worldwide to break free from the chains of alcohol addiction and regain control of their lives. His approach is compassionate, non-judgmental, and proven to be effective.

Craig's journey began with his own struggle with alcoholism. Despite having a successful career, a loving family, and a comfortable life, he found himself trapped in a cycle of excessive drinking, hangovers, and guilt. He tried numerous methods to quit, from willpower to therapy, but nothing seemed to work. It was only when he changed his mindset and approach towards alcohol that he was able to break free and stay sober for good. Inspired by his transformation, Craig dedicated his life to helping others achieve the same freedom.

Our Approach

At Stop Drinking Expert, we believe that quitting alcohol is not about deprivation or willpower, but about empowerment and self-love. We understand that alcohol addiction is not a moral failing, but a complex issue that requires a multifaceted approach. Our method focuses on understanding the psychological and physiological aspects of addiction, addressing the underlying issues, and providing practical tools and support to create lasting change.

We offer a variety of resources to support you on your journey to sobriety. Our daily free quit drinking webinar provides valuable insights and actionable tips to help you get started. Our blog features articles on a wide range of topics, from signs of alcohol withdrawal to sober dating, and is updated regularly with new content. Additionally, our online community provides a safe and supportive space for you to connect with others who are on the same journey.

Our holistic approach addresses all aspects of your well-being, including physical, mental, and emotional health. We provide guidance on nutrition, exercise, stress management, and self-care, as these are all crucial components of a successful recovery. Our goal is to help you not only quit alcohol but to thrive in all areas of your life.

Join Us

Embarking on the journey to sobriety can be daunting, but you don't have to do it alone. Join the thousands of people who have successfully quit alcohol with the help of Stop Drinking Expert. Whether you're just starting out or have been on the journey for a while, we have the resources and support you need to succeed.

Remember, quitting alcohol is not about giving up something, but about gaining so much more: better health, stronger relationships, increased self-esteem, and a sense of purpose and fulfillment. You deserve to live a life free from the shackles of alcohol addiction. Take the first step towards your new life by signing up for our free quit drinking webinar today.

We believe in you and are here to support you every step of the way. Together, we can create a brighter, alcohol-free future.

Useful Links

Free Quit Drinking Webinar With The Stop Drinking Expert:

Trying to control alcohol with willpower has a 95% chance of failure. Despite this depressing fact, most people still go down this route.

Reserve your place on our next free coaching session and discover the secret to easy sobriety. 

Reserve My Place

Copyright 2001-2023 Stop Drinking Expert (A trading division of Craig Beck Media Limited)

3811 Ditmars Blvd #1074, Queens, NY 11105, United States

Disclaimer: The website www.stopdrinkingexpert.com is intended for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Users are advised that in certain circumstances quitting drinking 'cold turkey' can be dangerous. This website provides information on how to stop drinking and promotes the author's services and products. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Craig Beck ABNLP. ABHYP. DHyp. ICS is a American board certified therapist and life coach. However, by using this website, you acknowledge and agree that the creator is not liable for any damages or losses arising from your use of this website or any external websites linked to from this website.