Wine To Cope With Stress?
Drinking wine to cope with life, it’s more common than you think!
Everyone knows that being a parent is tough. So it’s not really a huge surprise that a lot of modern mothers rely on drinking wine to cope. They hold on to the wine mom lifestyle that is made to appear so normal by social media.
Great, but what about when we start turning to wine every day?
Nicola was the very embodiment of a wine mom.
Born and bred in wine country, she virtually had Pinot Grigio racing through her veins.
Nicola started out with alcohol the same as everyone else, drinking in college. Back then she had no idea it would lead to a full-on case of alcohol addiction.
However, by addiction, we’re not referring to the homeless persons slouched on a park bench. Drinking from a cheap bottle of vodka in a brown paper sack.
It was a more secret kind of addiction than that. One anchored in cultural standards and well-known internet memes. A basic recognition that being a parent is tough. And there’s nothing wrong with grabbing the vino to get rid of the boredom and tension.
Using Wine To Cope Is Normal
“When I got wed and had kids, and my social life ended, I started getting into drinking at home. I would get excited about the glass I would have when the children are in bed or at five o’clock. It was my way of stating ‘Well, I’m home from work’ and I ‘d have a couple of glass of wine.
It got to the place where I would fit [drinking alcohol] in about anything we were doing,” claims Nicola.
In a couple of years leading up to choosing to stop drinking alcohol. She was drinking at least a bottle of wine every night. Also, she started to experience withdrawals that were having an impact on her and her relationships.
“I definitely understood I needed to quit drinking when I ‘d be seriously ill in the morning. Yet I would be placing a bottle of wine in the refrigerator ready for the evening.”
Moderation Does Not Work
She knew if she attempted to cut back, it would not work. She ‘d tried that previously.
It wasn’t until her family staged an intervention that she ultimately understood the drinking had to stop completely.
Her husband threatened to walk out if she did not stop.
” The AA preconception is of individuals with brown paper bags,” states Louise, whose own relatives even said to her: “Oh you’re not one of them, you’re not on a park bench with a bottle of gin.”
AA Is Not Designed For Problem Drinking
AA is not really designed for problem drinking and can only claim an 8% success rate. However, for the millions of full-blown alcoholics who have been helped, it’s a godsend!
Nicola took it one day at a time. She has now been clean for 2 1/2 years.
” I, at last, felt totally free [after quiting]. When I was addicted to drinking alcohol, it was on my mind all day long. I wasn’t downing cheap vodka from a brown paper bag. However, I was organizing my day around how I would drink, just how much I could drink.
I would organize my diary around whether I was intending to consume alcohol that evening. Even children’ playdates, parents evenings, it’s outrageous that even things like that had to be planned.
Using Wine To Cope With The Kids
“Keep kids entertained is tough. It’s coming down in buckets outside, and they’re shouting at you and your nerves are frazzled. You can not think of another adventure to keep them silent for 15 mins. A couple of glasses of wine instantly guarantees you’re ready to sing a song and have a boogie with them. That’s what I found was so essential.”
It was a way to unwind and feel content. That’s why Nicola believes everyone drinks.
“I drank to numb the experience of being a mother, which is absurd. These are the finest years of your life. And I do miss it now. I’m so thankful because I do not consume alcohol, I am such a better mom.”
When drinking alcohol, Nicola claims she would read e-books to her kids in the evening and miss pages out and not do the voices. All because she wanted to go downstairs to drink.
“Now I am present in the moment.”
“What you do not understand is that drinking is an enormous sedative for life. You may believe that you’re a competent mom while you’re consuming alcohol, but it’s a lie”
“It’s very unusual [to be a non-drinker] these days, alcohol is everywhere. I think other moms just assume I drink, they all do it. I think folks are rather shocked when I let them know I am sober.
Drinkers Don’t Want The Truth
“However I try not to jump on my high horse. As a drinker, whenever somebody starts haranguing you, it’s annoying. Even though the other person means well, drinkers don’t want to hear it”
Nicola claims it’s difficult to inhabit a world where alcohol is everywhere. However, she believes that things are gradually improving.
“Folks get very defensive when I say I don’t drink. Frequently the initial thing they’ll point out is: ‘Oh yes, I only drink on Mondays now, or …’ and they rationalize it to you. Rather than going: ‘Oh well done, that must be really tough’, they’re like: ‘Do not condemn me, my life is tough, I need it’.”
Alcohol Lied To Me
Nicola states she started to read Craig Beck’s quit drinking book ‘Alcohol Lied To Me‘
“I was like: ‘Far out, here we go. This is me’.”.
Beck has been a genuine influence on why Nicola is relatively open about her experience. However, there’s something to be said about Nicola not wishing her full name to be used throughout this blog post.
It’s not that the 40-year-old is embarrassed by her teetotalism. Or the very rough road that resulted in it. It’s more so that she recognizes there is a preconception about people who choose not to consume alcohol. And fundamental anxiety of not wishing to upset people who still drink.
Beck spreads the word that sobriety is better in every facet.
The aspiration is that wine mom’s open their eyes to the truth. They do not need to consume alcohol at every single moment of stress in life.
Far From Rock Bottom
“It struck me that a great deal of the individuals that follow me. They are not broken by alcohol, they’re kind of okay, but they’re kind of not okay. Stupid wine mom memes are being shared on social media. They’re stressed, they believe alcohol is helping and yet they’re on my website. Looking for an escape”.
But it’s not simply that the notion of stopping is frightening, he states. These same ladies are tied by public opinions that alcohol and friendship go together. Their social lives depend on being with a bunch of mothers who consume alcohol together.
Beck doesn’t pull punches when he discusses his ideas on the prominent meme sharing routines of females on the internet.
“It’s a harmful behavior. It legitimatizes what you’re doing even when you understand it’s making life miserable. It’s deception upon deception.
Using Wine To Cope Is A Lie
“The whole wine mom meme suggests women are not capable! I mean of course it’s tough as heck and isolating and it’s dull and it’s hectic, tedious, exhausting, confused. However, women are more than capable, they can do it. What are we claiming when we state Mom needs wine to cope? What are we claiming about our own selves, that we need to use this drug,” states Beck?
” Wine o’clock is just a myth,”
“I always used to say if I could do something it was to get [alcohol] away from grocery stores. It’s not just because it’s alluring for people who are battling with problem drinking. It’s simply the story that it transmits into the world. The rows and rows of alcohol in supermarkets are saying ‘we are a normal part of life’.
“It’s sending out a story to youngsters that it’s something it’s not, that it’s innocent. The truth is alcohol kills over 3,300,000 people every year. It’s not safe and we realize this.”.
It’s time to change the narrative around drinking wine to cope with life. The whole wine mom meme is deadly and depressing.
Ready To Escape?
If you are worried about your drinking and believe it’s time to do something. This may be the most important website you stumble upon.