How to master sobriety and really embrace teetotalism.
If you want to be a success in life then the advice is to model yourself and your habits on those of others who have achieved success. It is no coincidence that most millionaire entrepreneurs have very similar routines and disciplines in life.
Vladimir Putin is an individual who has been in the media quite a lot of late. Regardless of how the western press portrays him, back home in Russia he is revered and respected. In the UK Theresa May attempted to appear ‘strong and stable’ by simply repeating the phrase as the answer to any question she was asked. Of course, it failed, because the general public is not as stupid as career politicians assume.
Strong and stable, yeah right!
Putin owns ‘strong and stable’ in Russia because he has a set of principles that he won’t compromise on. These include a daily two-hour swim, a ban on all technology in his office and a solid commitment to teetotalism.
Part of the reason he doesn’t drink is to send a message to the public that alcohol is not necessary or advisable. This is a part of his belief structure and I doubt you will ever catch him with a drink in his hand.
The difference between people who successfully kick alcohol out of their life and those that don’t is largely down to mindset and how much passion they have for what they are doing.
In the years of running StopDrinkingExpert.com, I have noticed that the people who really manage to escape this drug are the ones who get a little bit obsessed with what they are doing. Living a sober life becomes an essential part of their being.
Sobriety becomes woven into the fabric of their outlook; it’s as much a part of them as their views on fidelity, friendship, and family.
Stop Drinking Expert
In a way, they embrace teetotalism just as passionately as some people take to veganism. It doesn’t mean they are never tempted to have the odd bacon sandwich but their beliefs are so firmly embedded that it never gets any further than just that ‘the odd temptation’.
The frustration for me as an alcohol therapist is watching people repeatedly trying to use willpower to stop drinking. I see many comments along the lines of ‘managed to get through the weekend without a drink’ and ‘damn, I was doing so well and then I buckled last night and had a beer or two’.
Well-meaning friends don’t help
These comments are followed up by well-meaning people who say ‘don’t beat yourself up, you did well to last a week’ etc.
Let me be absolutely clear about this ‘you did not do well to last a week’. You have failed to understand the way alcohol works. The drug is more than happy for you to go a week without a drink because it knows you will come back to it even harder every time you do this.
Once you get truly committed to living a sober life then there is no ‘getting through the weekend’. There is no battle because you are not forcing yourself to avoid something that you want. Vegan’s rarely have to say ‘thank God the weekend is over, I made it through without having to eat some lovely meat’. Not eating animals is a part of their personality, it is who they are!
Now, of course, I know that meat is not addictive and that is where the comparison falls down. However, what I am trying to tell you is, if you are serious about quitting drinking then you need to make teetotalism a part of who you are.
Making teetotalism a part of who you are.
Decades of drinking alcohol have physically altered your brain. Because of this, you can never go back to moderate drinking, ever! From now on when you drink this attractively packaged poison your brain is going to light up like a Christmas tree.
Despite what some people say, your neural pathways will never return to normal.
With this hard reality, you have a choice. You can spend the rest of your life being miserable in forcing yourself to avoid the thing you want the most (AA style). Or you can reframe alcohol so it becomes as repugnant to you as a leather jacket is to a committed vegan.
A part of your life
When you are planning your sober recovery from this drug you need to be on your guard for the lies that your addiction will tell you. All these negative beliefs come from f.e.a.r. (False Evidence Appearing Real). For example, many people come to the conclusion that they have an addictive personality and therefore their drinking is not their fault.
They may curse their parents or the medical community, anyone but themselves or their drug. Once you start pointing the finger of blame at an external source you fall into the trap of the drug.
Nobody is to blame for your addiction to alcohol, including yourself. However, you are entirely responsible for dealing with it. Nobody is going to come in and fix this issue for you. Sure, you can get advice and information to make your journey out of the loop easier.
But at the end of the day, it is only you who can implement and commit to a sober recovery plan.
In reality, there is no such thing as an ‘addictive personality’. If drinkers all shared such a kink in character then all drinkers would look, act and behave in a similar way. However, attend any rehab clinic and look around at the clients. You will find a completely diverse mix of individuals.
Alcohol hooks all races, genders and social classes. It doesn’t care where you live, how many children you have or how powerful you are. Kings and paupers alike are fair game for this drug.
If it really were possible to have an addictive personality then these poor individuals would be addicted to everything. All alcoholics afflicted with this condition would also weigh 400lbs from all the candy they were addicted to. They would be smoking 40 cigarettes a day while sniffing glue constantly.
The moment you come up with a reason to explain your drinking you have a license to fail. Accept no explanation, no reason, and no justification. Take responsibility for killing the Evil Clown yourself alone.