The Best Stop Drinking Advice You Can Get
I have noticed a common theme among alcohol users. When they start to get worried, they tend to ask other drinkers for advice on how to stop drinking. It should seem obvious that this is a mistake because these people don’t have the first clue.
So why do we do this?
Firstly it’s not something unique to drinkers. I write books on various self-help subjects from wealth creation to escaping the nine to five. I have noticed that people who want more money tend to ask people who don’t have any for advice. People looking for an escape from the rat race ask their work colleagues for guidance.
In a way, it’s entirely understandable. When we are making big decisions in life. Such as setting up our own business, investing our savings or quitting drinking, we want the guidance and support that comes from people who have our back. We turn first to the people who love and care about us.
Stop Drinking Expert
For most of the people who join my Stop Drinking Program, their alcohol problem is mainly hidden from the outside world. They are entirely functioning people and most will not have the slightest clue just how much they are struggling with alcohol.
Back when I was a drinker I was the director of two major businesses and the patron of a regional children’s charity. Everyone knew I could handle my drink and was always the first to the bar.
But nobody knew that I woke up every morning ripped apart by the guilt and regret of how much I drank the night before.
Often you don’t want your drinking habit to become public knowledge because there is a strange and illogical stigma attached to it. Alcoholism can damage your reputation, invalidate your medical insurance and hinder your career. So perhaps it’s entirely understandable that people turn to loved ones for advice.
The double problem
The problem with this is two-fold. Your alcohol drinking friend or a family member hasn’t got the first clue how to stop drinking. However, because they love you and care about you, they won’t just want to turn you away without offering some help.
The second problem is the advice they offer often doesn’t help and may even give you false hope. Drinkers may listen to how much you are drinking and tell you not to worry because you are drinking less than them.
When I first mentioned my drinking to a doctor he told me not to panic because I wasn’t so far ahead of what he was drinking. This did actually reassure me that I was fine to carry on. Hey, I had a great excuse – a qualified doctor told me not to worry.
My poison is your poison
The doctor probably only said that because to tell me that what I was doing what dangerous would be to also confront his own addiction.
This is a ‘difficult to spot’ deception. The person you are asking for advice may very well be also struggling with their drinking. Functioning alcoholics are everywhere and often completely indistinguishable from sober folk. So let’s take a look at some common, well-intentioned statements and dissect them to understand where they are coming from:
I drink more than you! You must think I am such a mess.
This is a very subtle one that pulls on your good intentions towards your friend or family member. Here they appear to be trying to reassure you about the amount you are drinking. However, there is an underlying command of ‘if you love me to have a drink, so I don’t feel like you are judging me’.
Nonsense I will get you a drink.
Here they are taking a dominant position over you, very much like a parent would do. They appear to be absolving you of blame but in reality, your drinking has nothing to do with what you get out of the activity. Your fellow drinker knows that he/she has a problem and demands you provide the social proof they need to carry on.
You’re different when you don’t drink, more sensible.
Calling someone sensible should be a compliment but in this case, you understand only too well what is really being said. The drinker is suggesting that they don’t like being around you when you don’t drink.
Come on, just have one. What’s the worst that can happen?
Problem drinkers know only too well that there is no such thing as ‘just one drink’. They have repeatedly failed to apply that rule to themselves so they are aware that you won’t be able to either.
It’s true that it’s unlikely anything bad will happen if you choose to drink alcohol at that moment. You won’t drop down dead, spontaneously combust or develop cancer in that precise moment. The question ‘what’s the worst that can happen’ is a loaded dice. It forces you to answer the question out of context.
By all means, get the support of those that love you but if they are also trapped in the alcoholism loop don’t seek their guidance. Get your information from people who have been there and escaped. Read the highly-rated books on Amazon by other recovering alcoholics, watch videos on YouTube and read the blogs of people who know how you feel.
When it comes to alcohol – you should trust me on this – it is the truth that will set you free!
If you are ready to get started on your own happy sober life. Click here for more information on my how to stop drinking course.