December 24, 2017

Are You Drinking to Help with Loneliness or Boredom?

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Drinking to Help with Loneliness

Are You Drinking to Help with Loneliness or Boredom?When people join my mailing list I always reach out and ask them what their primary motivation to drink is.

There are a shockingly high number people who admit they drink because they are lonely or bored with their life.

It’s worth noting that a lot of these individuals are not actually alone. They maybe in long term relationships and even belong as a part of a large family. However, there is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely.

It is quite possible to be lonely in a crowed room full of your family.

The problem is a lot more common than you may think. Turning to alcohol is almost logical and predictable. I understand this only too well.

Loneliness and dissatisfaction with life are very common justifications for excessive drinking.

Loneliness is Very Common

Back I was a drinker I was married and a parent but I still felt a huge vacuum in my life. I was on the 9 to 5 treadmill, running as fast as I could to keep the roof over our heads. We had a good standard of life, with a nice home and two cars on the drive. But despite achieving the middle class dream, I was still miserable.

Drinking to Help with Loneliness

My life felt boring and repetitive. I was lonely, if I am being honest. Despite being surrounded by people 24 hours a day I felt like I was alone. The sensation became so painful that I just wanted it to go away. Alcohol, a mild anesthetic seemed like the logical panacea.

What’s strange is, while I was using alcohol to numb my emotions and silence my tortured mind. I believed it was helping. No, more than that! I knew alcohol was helping. However, as I sit here now, on the other side of the fence and look back I can see for sure that the alcohol was making everything ten times worse.

Alcohol Makes Like Harder

Not just a little bit worse but by quantities of scale worse. Back when I was drinking two bottles of wine a night and spending thousands on a drug that was destroying me. I was the most miserable I had ever been in my life. Yet, all the time I was adamant that things would be worse if I didn’t have the drink to turn to.

This is just another powerful and clever illusion of the drug. You have to take your hat off to it really. Here is a drug that makes you feel increasingly miserable but at the same time it convinces you that it is doing the opposite!

Can you imagine if fast food joints could come up with a marketing strategy that achieved the same result? So, every time you stuffed your face with burgers and pizza you believed it was doing you good, trimming your waistline and protecting your health.

Alcohol is a genius… at silently killing people.

My approach to dealing with alcohol addiction works so well because I have been there and escaped myself. I am not sitting on an ivory tower judging you. Let me assure you, I have been to rock bottom, denial is no stranger to me. I tried a thousand pointless ways to moderate my drinking.

So, I know what works and what doesn’t. So hear me loud and clear when I tell you the truth about drinking to deal with loneliness and boredom.

It doesn’t work!

Here is the hard truth, if you are lonely, bored, unfulfilled, in a broken relationship or stressed with the pressures of life. Alcohol is making everything worse, not better.

I am going to have to repeat myself because the thing is, if you are self medicating in this way. I know you will believe I am wrong in your case. For you, it does appear to be helping. Perhaps, even the thought of quitting drinking fills you with fear and dread.

However, let me explain. People claim that alcohol makes you happy. A party without booze will be dull, correct?

However, if that is true then the outcome of drinking alcohol should always be happiness. This is not some NASA designed smart chemical that has the power to change itself at will. But we all know from experience that alcohol + people does not always equal happy people.

Smart Drug?

People drinking at a funeral wake don’t all jump on the tables and start singing and dancing. Homeless people swigging booze from a brown paper bag are not full of the joys. So alcohol cannot be claimed to create happiness.

We have to acknowledge the laws of cause and effect. For example; fire is hot and if you put your hand in it, you will get burned. There is no variation in the outcome of this action. You don’t get burned occasionally. It is a logical outcome of your interaction with a basic element.

A lot of people claim that alcohol is a depressant. I also take issue with this stance too. Because, I remember countless times where I had thoroughly good time while I was drunk. I have had nights out on the beer where I have laughed so much I thought I might die.

Here’s the truth!

Alcohol is a mood amplifier. This is all good if you are out socializing with friends and having a great time. Alcohol is going to make everything more fun, more interesting, and more amusing.

However, and here’s the problem, when you develop a problem with alcohol you are no longer only drinking in those environments. You are increasingly drinking alone to cope with life.

  • If you drink a mood amplifier while depressed, guess what you get more of?
  • If you drink alcohol because you feel lonely, what do you think happens?

When an vacuum in your very being is causing you pain and misery, adding alcohol is like trying to put out a fire with a bucket of gasoline.

Conclusion

bbc radioIf you are drinking to help with boredom or loneliness you have fallen in love with a serial killer but you believe he is your best friend.

If you are ready to kick this poison out of your life, check out the Stop Drinking Expert program today.

About the author: Craig Beck (craig@craigbeck.com) is a British personal development and self-help author who has written several bestselling books on alcohol addiction. Using his experience as a former problem drinker, combined with an expert knowledge of human behavior. He has gone on to help over 50,000 people to quit drinking, without willpower, rehab or medicationMore Information >>>

 

Craig Beck - The Stop Drinking Expert


About the author: Stop Drinking Expert - Craig Beck ABNLP. ABHYP. DhP. is an internationally renowned, specialist alcohol cessation coach and quit drinking mentor. Using his experience as a former problem drinker, combined with professionals qualifications, accreditations and practice as an addiction therapist, ICF licensed coach, master practitioner of NLP and master hypnotherapist. Independently respected and rated. Not a substitute for professional medical advice.

Craig Beck

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  1. I work 9-5 monday to friday, i also look after my disabled parents and sister. Monday to friday i don’t drink because of work, i have something other then family. Friday/Saturday i call my free time because i can have a drink on a friday and saturday because my brother takes my parents and my sister out. Still a lot of preparation goes into that scenario, i set alarms on phones so my brother knows about their medication. Get their clothes ready so they all look wonderful, make sure they have a decent breakfast before disappearing, Making sure all phones are charge. While they are all out, change bedding (pick up by local firm) cost me £16 a week but i just dont have time. Prep for sunday family lunch were all the family suddenly appear (sometimes 15) but friday and saturday are my freetime so i can do it. Sunday night is games night, dominos, poker, monopoly, i don’t join in. All i want to do is sleep but i have to prep snacks for games night. When they all leave at 11pm i clear up everything for the start of the week. I also prep breakfasts for everyone because i leave for work before the carers arrive to get everyone out of bed. Strange nobody helps out on a night when they have to sleep. Seriously i love my family to bits but i feel so alone in what i do which is why i drink, i think. I know i drink to excess, fridays in particular, like i’m waiting for the end of the week to come along because i have time to drink……

  2. I drink because my life is so boring… My husband is critical about everything I eat and everything I do unless it’s doing or eating what he likes…. I have tried to talk to him but he continually says it’s me and he is a good person, he calls me aweful names C..t fat lazy and I feel my only escape is drinking then he calls me an alcholic. I don’t go out drinking just at home, but it’s ok for him to drink when he wants to and then encourages me to and the next day I’m called a drunk.I was a happy go lucky lady but now i know I’m totally different person, he works hard and is so good in so many ways but then something snaps in him, if I say anything he does not agree with then it starts the verbal abuse, I want to stop but it seems my only little bit of satisfaction in my life

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